Getting To Know Me Better

(i apologize for the all the gramer errors, however I am not going back and fixing them all….you’ll have to deal with my 8th grade education. lol).

Okay I have nothing really that intersting that has happened to me to post about. I know…I know….sorry!!! But however! I’m going to post some random stories that has happened throught out my life, just so you can know me a little bit better, well I guess I should say you can know the cluts in me better!

1985 AGE 5 – My mom took myself and 2 other girls over the school yard that was a 1/2 block away from our house to burn off some energy. I looked up at her and stated “I’m going to do the monkey rings.” And scampered off. She told me no, because I would get hurt. “I do it all the time with daddy.” I stated, she just shrugged her shoulders and said “Well when you get hurt don’t be surprised if I say ‘I told you so'”. Whatever that meant I was 5! I just continued to run towards the monkey bars, I climbed up and put both hands on the first ring. I hung there thinking, ‘k, hmm…’, I let one hand go to reach for the the ring in front, OOOPPPSSS, BOOM, straight to the ground I went. I started balling my freaking eyes out, like I was being murdered (so my mom tells me, lol). I remember her walking oh so slowly towards me, and thinking, “hurry mommy hurry” but all i did was cry. My mom states yes indeed she was walking slowly, she just thought that I hurt my butt and my feelings. Oh little did she know, when I stood up and started running towards her, because her ass (course I didn’t think those type of words until the age of 6) was not fast enought. She gasped at what she say. My arm had looked like it shrunk to half it’s size and it was all wombling back and forth.

I ended up having emergency surgery (only after we spent an hour at our local hospital for my parents to be told “we can’t do anything for her”. And we had to drive 45 miles away to Bartlesville to Jane Phillips Hospital), 2 pins put in to keep my elebow together, broke 2 bones in my wrest, and was in the hospital for 3 1/2 days, doped up on morphine, woohoo!!!! I learned my leason, NEVER DO THINGS WITHOUT MY DAD!!! (he was the one that always helped me do the rings, and made it seem like I did it myself).

1984 4 years old – (this is not my clutz story) – I was walking to the bathroom and saw my brother jumping up and down on his bed, trying to pull his blinds down. I watched in amazement, I think because we were not allowed to jump on our beds, lol. Then I stated, reminding you I’m 4 years old, “You are gonna fall out that window.” I continued on to the bathroom. As I was in there I heard a big crash, and my brother say “Oh Shit!”. I got up from the pot, forgetting to flush the toilett, a nono in our house, and went to investigate. The only thing I saw as my brothers butt and feet the other half of his body was hanging out the window. I snickered and said “I told you so.” Off I went to get my mom, mainly to tattle tail on him. Well he got in trouble only after my parents rushed to the emergency room becuase he was bleeding everywhere. The next day when my mom was cleaning up the mess I brought my little chair out and sat down in it in the hall way shaking my head the whole time “i tried to tell him, but men, they don’t listen”.

1994 14 years old – I was away at church camp, having the time of my life. I was on swim break and had to use the restroom, they had pretty nice rest rooms but they were in this brick building that didn’t have roof. I went to go wash my hands after using the rest room and when I turned on the water I saw what I thought was a spider spreading out it’s legs, I screamed of course, and jumped back. As I jumped back I tripped over the concrete bench that was behind me. I went down and hard. I didn’t realize I was hurt until I tried to get back up. This was not accomplished until after 2 counsilors came in to see what was the matter and helped me up. I didn’t look down at my ankle until about three minutes after the incident, but when I did it had almost tripled it’s size and was turning a dark purple color. I started crying then, why is it when children realize that they are hurt that’s when they start to cry uncontrollably? *Shrugs* They helped me out to the pool area and put my foot into a bucket of ice water, on my god, i thought i was going to die then. A girl I had met at camp that week came out and asked, “Susan, where’s the spider you saw?” I told her that it was in the sink, she said oh, and snickered. I looked up at her and said “I’m afraid of spiders.” She lauged harder, by then I was getting angry with her, how dare she laugh at me when I was dieing! She disappeared and came back with her hand closed. “Is this what you saw?” She said and opened her hand, I closed my eyes I didn’t want to see the stupid ass spider that just about killed me. She told me to open my eyes, I did finally, and what was stairing back at me was nothing but a FREAKING FUZZ BALL!. (I learned, look before leaping).

1997 17 years old – I had an old car a 1979 Rivira (sp?) it’s was my pimp mobile, lol. Well we had the transmission worked on and someone the linkage got all screwed up and Drive was Reverse, Reverse was Drive, Park was Neatural, and Neatural was Park, I think you got the idea. Well I was the closing shift manager at Taco Tico in my town, and we were all leaving for the evening. I started my car like usual and I didn’t have to reverse it because i was parked in such a way that all i had to was crank the wheel to get out of my space. Well I was being BLONDE and not thinking I put my car into Drive and punched down on the gas. To my amazement I was going backwards. I almost hit one of my employees, well actually almost ran completely over him, but thankfully he jumped out of the way, and the rear end of my car went up the little side walk and then into the side of the builing. I stopped the car got out to make sure my boy was safe he was, but everyone was laughing their booties off. I properly manuevered the car forward this time and I left the biggest hole in the side of Taco Tico ever. (lesson learned, do not let highschool mechanics class fix your car, even if it is for free!).

1998 18 years old – I was all decked out in my skater jeans that would always get caught on the buttom of my doc martins. I was walking down the stairs at school on my way to stupid aerobics class. When the pants got stuck on the heals of my shoes which jerked me forward and I completely fell down the stairs. When I landed, I landed on my right foot right on the edge of the step, the doc martans I had on where ones that had a buckel on the sides of them, and my foot landed right on that part that that strap and the show meet togther. By this time I was so used to falling down stairs and crap that I didn’t cry, it hurt like hell but I didn’t cry. I got up and brushed my self off, thinking that I got away with no one seeing me. A girl on top of the stairs was starring down at me, and asked “are you okay?” She startled me, my face began to feel like it was on fire, “Yeah, sure I’m just fine, a clutz but just fine.” She turned around and walked off. I on the other hand hobbled to my class. I took my shoe off in the locker room. I had this big dent in the top of my foot and it was starting to swell fast (i sprained my ankle like 100 thousand times before this) so I quickly put my shoe back on knowing that my foot would not go back in once the swelling was compelete. I hopled to class, the teacher asked me why I was not dressed for class, I explained what happned. She told me to take off my shoe, I said I couldn’t do that. So therefor she didn’t believe me, and made me do the jump rope test anyways. I thought I broke my foot, oh god it was painful, I pleaded with my father to take me to the hospital and he said no way, you’ll be fine. Well a couple years ago I had a problem with heel spurs and went to the foot doctor, first words out of the doctors mouth when he looked at my foot was “when did you break your foot?” I told him the story, and he said “Well it didn’t heal right”. (Lesson learned “Father’s do not always know what is best!”).

Last one! Promise – 1996 16 Years old – I was sitting in my cousins living room, just chatting up a storm, and I was sitting in a rocker like a lady with my legs crossed. I got up to do something and fell flat on my face, skinning up my nose and chin. I forgot to uncross my legs before I tried to start walking. Yeah, that is the thing that still gets my family rolling on the floor to this day. They say “Yeah, Susan sure is a true blonde at times!” (lesson learned, family members NEVER LET YOU FORGET HOW STUPID YOU ARE SOMETIMES!!!).

Yeah i know i said the last one was the last one, but i thought of another one THIS ONE WILL BE MY LAST ONE.

1990 10 years old – I was playing in our back yard like I always did when I was a kid. I was in the biggest soccer game ever and it was up to me to score the winning goal, of course this was all in my head, lol, i had a pretty vivid imagination. Well I kicked the ball as hard as I could, the crowd cheered, my team won, I scored the winning point. Okay enought with the visual, when I kicked the ball it went over the fence and into the dogs pen. My dad kept the latch on the gate of the pen pad locked, because Sugar knew how to somehow get the padlock off the latch and and open the gate and let herself out. Well I was too lazy to go inside get the key go back outside walk to the back of the yard (the whole oh 100 feet of so), get the ball, get the dog back into the pen, go back inside to put the key back up, then go back outside. Who the hell has time for all that?!? So I just started climbing the fence of the pen. I got in the pen threw the ball over, walked over to Sugar and petted her, she drooled on my hand, I told her she was gross, and started back over the fence. I was almost over but I got stuck. I couldn’t move my foot any further, I thought my shoe lace was stuck, because it had happened before, I turned around to untie my shoe, I start screaming bloody freaking murder! To my horror the little spokey things that poke out ontop of a chain lenght fense was stuck in my ankle. It was the front part of the foot where the shin is connected to the ankel and then the foot, okay back to story, well it went through there and was trying to poke out on the ankle bone part of my ankle. I started screaming “Someone help me! Help! HELP! HELP!” I tried to get my ankle loose it wasn’t working you can only do so much with one hand balancing you the other tring to get your foot off, and the other free foot stuck in a hole in the fese so you don’t go sliding off the stupid thing. I swear I screamed for ever. I screamed and screamed and screamed for my mom and my dad who were inside the house 100 fee away. Nobody….I cried and screamed, and thought I was going to die and be eaten by birds, yeah I was dramatic hey I wanted to be an actress!!! Finally I saw this guy running down the alley way. He jumped over the fense and pulled my foot off, blood ooozing out of the puncture hole. He carried me up to the back door and rang the bell. For the 2 seconds we waited for one of my parents to open the door my foot was in a puddle of blood. I almost got sick. My dad answers the door, and says “May I help you” in that tone that really means who the hell are you and what do you want? The man explained what happened, my dad opened the door, he let the man leave through the front door. My mom had picked me up and put me on the couch, by the time dad was back mom was on the phone with the hospital. I remember her saying “NO…No…Yes…she’s very pale….no…yes…okay…thank you.” (me being pale not a good thing, i have year round wind rash on my cheeks, lot of people think i have rosasia i don’t though). She put pillows under my foot and gave me a blanket and a popcycle. “The doctor states that unless the bleeding doesn’t stop then there is no need to go into the hospital. YOu will how ever have to have a shot for tetnus.” Okay question, you just calmed down your 10 year old child, then you go off and tell them about a shot?!? Comeon get seriuos!!! I started crying again, and screaming. Yeah, my day was shot after that!

I’ll explain why I didn’t have to go to the hospital. I could move my foot, I had feeling and sensation in my toes, and it was a clean puncture wound. The doctor stated to my mom unless she couldn’t get the blood to stop by elevating it, then there is nothing he can do for a punture wound.

The lesson learned, take time out to do things right, short cuts only get you into trouble!