Category Archives: Life

Era

Some how I think I was born in the wrong Era. Yes, you heard me right, and no, I’m not going crazy.¬† I don’t think you can go crazy when you are already there ūüôā

Ever since I was a kid I NEVER liked things that were “hip” at the time everyone else liked.¬† I have always loved the late 60’s and Early 70’s Era’s.¬† Why? Good question, and if you know the answer let me know Paaahhhllleeease!!!.¬†

I love the music from back then too.¬† I try and try to listen to what is consider “hot” music of today, but I always find my way back to the Mamma’s and the Papa’s, Fleetwood Mac, Sweetwater (a band that was great they played at woodstock ), Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix,¬†and other great¬†artists from that Era.¬†

I realize that I’m wierd, there is no need to tell me that, as I already know.¬† But that is irrevalent (sp?) to what I’m trying to get at.¬† I think I missed my true Generation…yes that generation was called “Hippies”.¬† Am I the only one out there that believes that they are growing old in the wrong time?!?! Please don’t let me be the only one!! If I am I think i probably need to get some professional help!!!

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I’ve been Tagged 2 times

Well I have been tagged by two different people, Dianak, and Rachel, on two different things.  SO here it goes.

The first one is I am to list 6 wierd things about myself.  SO here we go, and hopefully I have friends after this, lol.

1.¬† I collect newspapers, magazines, books.¬† Doesn’t matter what book, magazine, or newspaper it is, I most have it.¬† I have a tub full of newspapers right now in my closet, and no, I can not bring myself to throw them away!¬† I did break down a couple of weeks ago and threw out most of my magazines though.¬† Books I’m into all books, doesn’t matter if I would never read them, y ou never know I might want to read that stupid book over in the corner one day.¬†

2.¬† I can’t stand shoes or socks.¬† If I had my choice we would be allowed to wear no shoes or socks out in public.¬† The first thing I do when I come home is tear my shoes and socks off, along with my bra,which I also hate, but not as much as shoes or socks.

3. I have this intense feeling that everyone is always talking bad about me behind my back.  No matter if thye are or not, if there is a group of people out there, and I see them and they see me and then they start to talk, I automatically start to think they are talking about me. 

4.¬† I can not stand other peoples feet.¬† Feet to me are the most ugliest things on the planet.¬† Do not touch any part of my body or clothes for that matter with your stinky ass feet, i’ll be sure to hit you.

5.   I can not stand it when people scrape their teeth on their forks.  I want to grab the fork from their fat little stubby hands and stab them with it.  It is worse than finger nails on a chalkboard, OMG, the sound I am cringing now just thinking about it.

6.¬† I must have clean hands (which to me is wierd because I get sick so often).¬† If my hands feel grimy I have to either wash them or rinse them off with santizer.¬† I do not shaking strange peoples hands, that’s just nasty to me, but I do shake their hand it’s impolite not to, but the whole entire time I’m thinking “where has this hand been?¬† Did they wash their hands after using the restroom” I almost throw up when I have to shake someones hand.

 K, that is my 6 wierd things about me.

Now the 2nd is from Rachel give 8 memerioes you cherish the most.

1.¬† I was about 5 years old and I was outside playing, making mud pies.¬† I was pouring the muddy murky water into my “toy coffee” pot and having myself a Little Coffee party with my dolls and barbies.¬† I had a cup it was empty i put it up to my lips and started the motions of drinking the “muddy coffee” and my mom freaked.¬† “NO NO Susie don’t drink that!” I looked at her and said “it’s empty ma, geesh” and she laughed and she told me when she was a little girl she told her little sister that their mud pies were really pies, and told her to eat it and she did.¬† I said “Ma that’s mean, and gross.” and I called my aunt up and called her a “foolish fool, to let someone do that to her!” she laughed until she cried, I thought she was crying because she was upset that I called her a “foolish fool”.

2. This isn’t actually a memeroy it’s someone’s memory of me.¬† But, it doesn’t matter how many times I hear it I get a hoot out of it.¬† I was probably 2 or 3 at the time, and my grandy (the one that recently passed) took me to the bathroom because she had to use the ‘potty’.¬† I told her she was to big to sit on the ‘potty’.¬† You know because when you are that little you still have to hold yourself with your hands on the pot so you don’t fall in.¬† She was so tickled because I was soooo serious. LOL.

3.¬† I was about 4 and my brother was jumping up and down on the bed acting like the fool he is, and I told him that he would hurt himself, and he told me to go away.¬† Heard a crash and saw my brother’s butt and feet inside the house but the rest of his body outside the house.¬† He had fallen through the window, and I said “told you so.” and went to tell my ma.

4.¬† Being the clutz I am, Diana her brother and myself went down the creek.¬† I say Diana, and I were probably 5th or 6th grade.¬† I was not allowed down at the creek, but I went anyways.¬† There was this rope swing hanging from the tree and you could swing across the creek it was a blast.¬† Me being the smart one, decided I was going to swing backwards…somehow I ended up in the creek.¬† I got grounded and Diana got sent home by my mom.

5. All the times I played “Friday the 13th” with Diana and her brother.¬† Or ghost in the graveyard, any game really.¬† I spent most of my life with Diana and her family!

6.¬† Laura and I were waiting in line at the Kansas City Air port to check our bags.¬† We were off to Portland to visit Diana. Can’t quite remember the details of this, Laura would, but there was a lady in the front of us who was basically accusing us of cutting infront of her 12 year old son.¬† We did not, we were clearly in front of him the whole entire time.¬† She stated to him something like he has to watch out for people like us, who would take advantage of him being so young.¬† Laura came out with “Listen here lady, we didn’t cut infront of your stupid son (something like that) and I don’t appreciate you saying we did (something like that).” I stood there in line my mouth hung open and thinking, “Whoa, this isn’t the Laura I came with.” LoL.

7.¬† Diana and I used to fight over this boy named Steve.¬† Why we fough over Steve I don’t know he didn’t turn out to be anybody special after we all grew up.¬† But Steve lived down the street from her, and I had a crush on him.¬† I kissed him once, and so did she, we caught each other both times, we were so mad at each other we could spit nails out at each other.¬† Steve I’m sure was enjoying this.¬† Diana’s mom sat us both down, both our faces tear streaked from crying stating “Now girls no boy is worth fighting over and ruining a friendship over.”¬† And she sent Steve home. LOL.

8.¬† When and anytime my grandfather would call me “His Special Angel”.¬† When he said that my face would light up and I’d be glowing for the rest of the day.¬† I would wait to hear those¬†4 words “You’re my¬†Special Angel” and then my day would be a good one.¬† He didn’t say it all the time, only when we were working on a project together.¬† He’d pat my head and said “You’re my Special angel”.

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The Phone Call…

Believe it or not that there was someone before J, someone that had my heart from the word go, but, this someone and I couldn’t no matter how we tried, to seem to be together. His name was Nate, and he was supposed to get married this month, to the girl that came between us. Out of the blue last night he emailed me stating that he wanted my phone number he needed to talk to me. So i gave him my phone number, and anxiously awaited the phone call. In about 20 minutes he called me. This is how it played out.

He said that she called off the wedding 3 weeks before it was to happen, because she thought he was cheating, and I believe him when he said he didn’t except for with me, and that was a year and a half ago, around July 1 of 2005, she has told lies to his family so they have not called him in over 1 month.

He asked me what i was doing told him i’m about to get laid off and he said “want to move to iowa, i have a house and make 800 bucks a week (damn)” i said “well, honey I would but i’m back with my ex, and things are going good right now” and he said “i had a feeling that you were going to say that”

He said that he felt bad for not going through with what he told me, which was for him to move down here, and live with me, he would of been 10 times happier than he was ever with her (hehe i’m that good), and he is sorry he f*ed it up.

I said ‘hey it’s okay what we did was in the heat of the moment, it was like a snap of a finger, us being together just wasn’t in the plans at the time”

He apologized serveral times, and I told him “Nate, I don’t want the friendship we had to go away, i will always be here, my phone is always opened to you” and he said “don’t be surprised if i call you once a week” and i said “that is fine I’m your friend if you need someone to talk to then I am here, but I can not and will not leave j” and he said “i would never ask you to do that” and i said “good, because if it is not meant to be with him i want it to die on its own I am trying hard to get things back where they were” and he said “i understand totally”

i said we weren’t meant to be together, but maybe we were just meant to be friends, and he understood compeletely, and i said “if i were not with J right now don’t think in a heart beat i wouldn’t move up there with you, because I would” and I actually WOULD do it, my parents would flip the hell out, but o’well, lol, i also said “i’m in love with j and right now all I see is him, and no one else.” and then i added “man, this could of happened like a month ago!”

END OF CONVERSATION

It was hard really hard not to just crumble, hard for me to just say forget my life here and move to Iowa and be with him. But in reality I can not do that, and will not do that to J, it would not be fair, I mean we are trying right now, and we are both in the agreement that we will fight hard for what we had. I just think it is strange how things play out. How he was supposedly “happy” with her (nate) and that they were going to get married this month, and how i was supposed to get married in May, but didn’t and now am back with J.

I think I handled it well, but I still fill a tad bit guilty for even taking the phone call, but it was closure, closure we both needed. When we hung up he said “I love you” and I said “I love you” back, now that may have been the wrong thing to do, but honestly I still do, is it possible to love 2 people at the same time? Granted I have more love in my heart for J, but there is still part of my heart that will always be Nates. We have known each other for 3 years, and dated for about 1 1/2 years. Nates last phone call was last october, he said that he would call me on a friday night, he never did, and then the email was the first time I’ve heard from him since he announced in March that he was getting married. Last october was when I found J. It was like God closed one door, and then opened up another for me.

J doesn’t know about Nate, and I don’t think he ever will. I can not find the words to bring up Nate to J. There is something there with Nate that is so personal to me that I don’t want to scare J. Am I bad for having these thoughts? Or is this just how closure goes??

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Tired, cold, and have a headache

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingWell I went to be pretty early last night, I had a major migraine sneak up on me last night. I still Have it today. It’s the change of the weather, I get sick whenever the seasons change, it stinks really.

I’m tired too, must be the head ache, and I’m cold, which must be the headache again, I want to go home (I was supposed to have today off, but um somehow that got thrown out the window, pfft).

Everyone here has an interview with the Airplane plant, BUT, me. I don’t have one. O’shittin well. I guess I’m not good enough if I don’t have someone on the inside pushing my resume like people do when they push drugs. I went through the job service, and hopefully they will call me, if not another factory is hiring they make plastic pipes. YEW, what fun. I don’t care I just need a job that I make the amount or more then what I make now. I don’t want to loose everything I have.

It’s going to be a shit day in the neighborhood, and I may just go home this afternoon, forget everyone else at this job, I have a headache from hell and I want to go to bed!.

IN OTHER NEWS: I HAVE A SILVERFISH INFESTATION IN MY APARTMENT, CAN WE ALL SAY GROSS!!!!

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingDescription: Silverfish are always wingless and are silvery to brown in color because their bodies are covered with fine scales. They are generally soft bodied. Adults are up to 3/4 inch long, flattened from top to bottom, elongated and oval in shape, have three long tail projections and two long antennae.

Habitat, Food Source(s): Silverfish are chewing insects and general feeders but prefer carbohydrates and protein, including flour, dried meat, rolled oats, paper and even glue. They and can survive long periods, sometimes over a year, without food but are sensitive to moisture and require a high humidity (75% to 90%) to survive. They also have a temperature preference between 70 and 80 degrees F. They are fast running and mostly active at night and generally prefer lower levels in homes, but may be found in attics.

GOOD GAWD WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG…I contribute my silverfish problem to the garage below me that is pack full of shit. Not my shit, but shit non-the-less. This is disgusting, I’m a clean person, why do I have this problem?

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Bats, and other things

Well lets see the Video blog I looked horrible!!! I either look stoned out of my mind or exhausted, and I know I wasn’t stoned, so must of been the exhausted part.

See a couple of nights ago I went outside with dogs in tow to let them use the potty, and I heard fluttering in the Evergreen tree above me. This is one BIG evergreen (i think that is what it is, i’m pretty much stupid on trees). I didn’t think much of it then, just went along my business and so did the doggies.

Last night I go outside and I hit the screen door on one of the branches, and this black thing came and dive bombed my head, it was around 9 o’clock so it was pretty dark outside, and when I bent down to put the pups in their outside pen, it did it again. I got a look at it, it resembled a bat, yes, a bat. I about pissed my pants, Jade was extremely scared out of skin, and didn’t want to go potty. Katie, was oblivious to the whole ordeal, she had business to take care of.

I come back inside and IM James. “Are there bats in this area?” and came back with “Yes.” and I said “I just had one dive bomb my head” and he laughed. I didn’t think it was that funny myself. So I have a bat in my tree, just great. I wonder if the dog catcher will take in bats. I know I will not invite the bat in, so that way there will be no chance of him sucking my blood and turning me into a vampire, LOL.

Today I’ve been in an off mood. Rachel knows this. My job is beginning to suck sweaty goat balls, graphic huh? I have cried 3 times while sitting at my desk at work. No one noticed, I can cry very quietly, the tears just build up and fall out of my eye sockets. I don’t know what is wrong with me right now. It’s like im PRE Pmsing or something. My lower back is killing me, I can’t seem to find a comfortable posistion to sit, and I basically just want to go home, and never come back to this place ever again. But, I know that this can not happen, I mean I DO have to get a paycheck somehow. I thought about working the corner of our busiest street in town to earn some extra cash flow. But, I don’t know.

I will post more video blogs, but I will make sure I look 100 percent better than I did last night, good gawd, can we say catirpillar (sp?) crawling across my forhead, GEESH!!!

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Scared, cold and tired….blah

Well J and I had a nice evening, I went over there around 8:30 this evening, we then went to bville to walmart, where he needed some things. We got back home around Midnight. I headed back home where I just about side swibed some poor bastard as he was in my blind spot. I truly felt sorry but thankfully i corrected myself before I actually did any damage, I’m sure he about pissed his pants (pissed is um my word of choice it seems, lol).

I came home to a pretty cold home, I’m not turning my heaters on until I absolutely have to! I have an electric blanket so at least i will not freeze while I sleep.

I watched the new horror movie “Stay Alive” and well um…I’m scared now LOL. I’m glad I’m not a gamer! Not that a game can come to life or anything, but still the concept of the movie freaked my crap out! I don’t mind horror movies, I love to watch them actually, but this is the first one ever that I’ve actually talked to the damn tv, telling the poor bastards to get out!! LOL, I went a bit insane on them, lol. It’s a pretty good flick if you are into horror!! The scariest part to me was Angelina Jolie’s brother, not his character just him, himself. He’s a little freaky!!! LOL.

Well like the title states I’m Scared, freezing to death (my body is shivering as I type this you can see my breath, it’s a sad ordeal really, lol, I need to NOT be stubborn and turn the heat on), and I’m extremely tired.

So until next post, you all have an absolutely lovely Early Saturday morning!!! NIGHTERS!!!

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